Can EMDR Help You Recover from Narcissistic Abuse?

Contents
Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder or with narcissistic traits are often responsible for perpetrating narcissistic abuse. This form of abuse can manifest in various ways, including psychological, financial, and physical harm. The abuser deliberately employs a range of manipulative tactics to control, undermine, and inflict pain on their target. While narcissistic abuse frequently occurs in interpersonal relationships, it can also arise in other contexts.
Similar to other forms of psychological and emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse can lead to anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is indeed a form of trauma, and its effects –such as low self-esteem, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and social isolation–can persist even after the abuse is no longer in the person’s life. This makes it a serious issue, as exposure to narcissistic abuse can lead to long-term mental health issues.
If you are suffering from narcissistic abuse, seeking therapy is a crucial step toward healing. One of the most effective psychotherapy approaches for addressing trauma is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR for narcissistic abuse focuses on addressing the traumatic memories ingrained in the individual’s mind, which may be causing ongoing distress, fear, and even physical symptoms such as body aches, headaches, or stomach pain. By reprocessing these memories, EMDR can help you reduce their emotional and physical impact, promoting recovery and emotional resilience.
DIY EMDR
Did you know that EMDR can be self-administered? We created an online tool to help you with DIY EMDR.

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: Can EMDR Help?
EMDR therapy has been scientifically proven effective for treating trauma-related disorders such as PTSD, anxiety, and depression, making it a valuable tool for individuals suffering from or recovering from narcissistic abuse, which often involves psychological trauma. Research supports EMDR’s efficacy in addressing the emotional and mental health impacts of narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic abuse is characterized by behavior and actions that inflict deep emotional trauma, often leaving the individual unable to process what they’ve endured. Abuses employ manipulative tactics such as gaslighting, constant criticism, and blame-shifting to control and psychologically harm their target. Over time, these traumatic experiences can manifest as both physical and behavioral symptoms. For example, the individual may experience physical reactions like sweating or an increased heartbeat when reminded of the abuse or returning to a place where it occurred. They may also struggle with forming healthy relationships, expressing themselves confidently, or trusting others. These lasting effects are deeply rooted in the trauma of the abuse and highlight the profound impact it can have on a person’s well–being.
This is where EMDR comes in, as it targets the root cause of the issue—specifically, the traumatic experiences tied to narcissistic abuse. During EMDR therapy, the individual recalls these distressing memories in a safe and controlled environment, guided by bilateral stimulation (e.g., eye movement or audio signals). This process helps reduce the emotional intensity of the memories, allowing the mind to process them in a healthier way.
EMDR essentially enables the brain to process and integrate the trauma and abuse, preventing it from continuing to haunt the individual or manifest as debilitating symptoms. By regulating the nervous system throughout the session, EMDR creates a sense of safety, making it possible to revisit and process even the most painful episodes of narcissistic abuse without being overwhelmed.
How Does EMDR Work?
Before you decide to use EMDR for treating trauma, resulting from narcissistic abuse, it’s best to understand what this therapy involves. It’s a structured multi-phase therapy with a strict protocol that you and your therapist must follow.
It comprises eight distinct phases, which must be completed in entirety for the best results. Here’s what these phases involve:
- History-taking: This is where the therapist gathers information from you about your symptoms, experiences, and general mental health.
- Preparation: In this phase, you’ll get informed about the treatment process, which may be adapted according to your symptoms or conditions.
- Assessment: This phase is very important as this is where the real work begins, as you identify the target memories of abuse, as well as any negative beliefs, emotions, and body sensations linked with them. You also identify something positive that you will enforce later.
- Desensitization: In this phase, you’ll engage in bilateral stimulation and process the traumatic experiences of narcissistic abuse.
- Installation: Now, you’ll install the optimistic belief that will ultimately replace the negative beliefs.
- Body Scan: You’ll once again identify any physical sensations related to trauma and work on processing them.
- Closure: You’ll learn strategies and techniques to cope with residual effects.
- Reevaluation: In the last session, you’ll reevaluate your progress with the therapist and address any issues you may have faced.
Why Choose EMDR for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?
Therapy is highly recommended for individuals who have been in abusive relationships. But for someone who has endured narcissistic abuse, EMDR is a viable treatment for a number of reasons:
- Treats trauma at its source—A psychotherapy treatment for healing from any form of abuse as it targets the unprocessed memories and feelings toward traumatic experiences.
- Empowers with coping techniques—you learn coping mechanisms for use during the therapy sessions and after, which can be helpful in making the process of healing easier.
- Long-term impact—the things you’ll learn during EMDR will help you cope with any flashbacks of your traumatic experiences in the long run.
- Affordable therapy—EMDR has a fixed protocol, which means it doesn’t continue for a very long time, making it relatively affordable.
- In-person, online, or self-EMDR—you have the choice to do EMDR for narcissistic abuse with a therapist in-person or online, as well as DIY with our platform OpenEMDR.
Help Is All You Need!
If you’re currently experiencing narcissistic abuse, it’s crucial to seek help immediately. Reach out to trusted loved ones for support and consult a healthcare professional to explore counseling or therapy options. If you have endured narcissistic abuse in the past, commiting to the therapeutic process is essential to prevent the abuse from continuing to control your life. With evidence-based therapies like EMDR, it is possible to heal from the lasting effects of abuse and reclaim your emotional well-being.

FAQs
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of manipulative and controlling behavior exhibited by individuals with narcissistic personality traits or narcissistic personality disorder. Its purpose is to undermine the target’s self-worth and maintain control over them.
It’s important to note that having narcissistic personality disorder does not automatically mean a person will be abusive. However, those who exhibit abusive behaviors often display narcissistic characteristics.
What Are the Signs of Narcissistic Abuse?
Here are the signs you’re being abused by a narcissist:
- Gaslighting (distorting reality)
- Constant criticism
- Isolation from loved ones
- Narcissistic manipulation
- Lack of empathy
- Exploitation (whether it be financial, emotional, or social)
- Boundary violations.
- What Is the Difference Between Narcissistic Abuse and Emotional Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse inflicted by individuals with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissistic abuse can involve a power dynamic driven by the abuser’s need for control and validation.
How Long Does EMDR for Narcissistic Abuse Last?
The duration of EMDR therapy for narcissistic abuse varies case by case. Normally, EMDR therapy takes 6 to 12 sessions. Some phases are completed in more than one session.
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